__Due to ongoing health issues, the Special Needs Homeschool site has not been updated. The resources here are timeless and I hope you continue to visit and share! I am hoping to get back here as soon as the dust settles to update and revive SNH. In the meantime, the SNH Facebook page and group are hopping with resources and support.
We all have our guilt days. We all look at our friend who is homeschooling many children, completely organized, and is the sweetest person in the world. We may suffer from guilt because we suffer a chronic illness and can't spend as much time with our kids, doing the things we feel needed, as much as we want too. Maybe we didn't get a great turn out for a birthday party or something as simple as not making our child's favourite meal when they were feeling sad. Maybe we have guilt because our children don't want to complete the work we spent tonnes of money on or because we pushed too hard. Whatever the case may be, we all have guilt.
Letting go is the hardest thing in the world. Children always get to a point when they realize we aren't perfect, we don't know the answer nor do we try to know. The 'can't' vs 'won't' often sends us into a tizzy when dealing with sickness or money. Maybe we forgot to throw in the laundry and we're pulling out of the dirty clothes pile for our daughter's favourite pair of jeans. Whatever the reason is behind the guilt, our biggest dilemma is letting go.
Such as life, c'est la vie, shrug it off, overlook it, water off a duck's back, brush it away, and LET IT GO!!! I think we are our own worse critics. We feel accountable for everything we do because we can't blame the school, the day care teacher, or any other caregiver if things go wrong. We take full responsibility as homeschoolers to raise our children the best we know how. Yes, we're going to make mistakes. We're not always going to make the therapy appointments. We're going to have to cancel the field trip last minute after we've made the commitment. We're going to screw up. We're not perfect.
So what? Seriously, so what? Why is it the end of the world as we know it? Why do we put ourselves through this time and time again? Why do we get defensive at the stares or people's words of judgment or just our own expectations? Because the heart wants what the heart wants. We want what we can't possibly give, the impossible perfection of homeschooling.
To sum up: You're in a housecoat, haven't seen your hairbrush in days, throwing on a can of whatever for supper, the vacuum is plugged, the litter box needs scooping, your child just brought in pockets full of worms, your spouse just called from work and the boss is coming over, books are half scribbled in, pages strewn about, you can't find your child's favourite pencil so they are screaming, the dog is barking, the dishwasher is leaking, the washing machine blew a fuse, and to top it all off, you're going on four hours sleep. It's just life. It happens to the best of us. LET IT GO!!!